![]() ![]() He talked about how us having this conversation on camera was a gift to both of us and our relationship. The change that happened as a part of this film is subtle. I end up also having to listen to how it affects my son, and try to understand where it comes from with my parents, and had to really wake up myself to the wealth around me. I thought I would be in there as a narrator, but I ended up being in the film, and realizing that I, too, had my own addiction, that my passion for my work was also irrational in some way, because it took me away from my family to a really extreme degree. Greenfield: What surprised me in making this film is that I became a part of it, too. On turning the magnifying glass on herself And so I think we need to listen to the people around us and hopefully we can find a way to do our work, and make the world a better place at the same time. And balance is what's needed to make you a better person, a better mother, a better daughter, a better father. But what I've learned in this process is that balance is also part of the equation. There is a propensity in our culture that drives us toward that. But sometimes, if we're doing it out of a place of feeling like we need to be more, it becomes an addiction. Greenfield: There's nothing wrong with ambition - it drives people to a lot of great things - just like there's nothing wrong with money. On the difference between ambition and obsession The more we catch ourselves wanting something out there, the more we need to wake up to kind of the wealth that is already there, that's all around us. I keep seeing people go off social media, or say they need to take a break. A lot of people are realizing that looking at other people all the time is actually kind of depressing. Faking it till we make it, posing as what we want. One of the people I talked to, Chris Hedges, says that social media is actually the end of real friendship, because r eal friendship is about breaking down the walls that we have between people and being vulnerable and our online friendship is all about presentation. now, we compare ourselves to the people we actually often feel like we know better, which are the people we know from TV. We used to compare ourselves to our neighbors, and that was certainly the old stereotype of the American dream. People are curating these perfect lives, and just like a girl is going to be miserable if she tries to compare herself to a retouched model in a magazine, we're all going to be miserable if we're comparing ourselves to these unrealistic ideals. And not only is that unrealistic, but it's often fictional. Greenfield: Social media has just amplified it we're always looking to compare ourselves with somebody else who has more, who looks better, who's at a better party. The research shows that the more we see those images of luxury and affluence, which have become much more dominant in the media, the more we think that's normal and the more we want those things. In the film, my own son says he feels like he knows the Kardashians better than his own neighbors. But now, we compare ourselves to the people we actually often feel like we know better, which are the people we know from TV. We used to compare ourselves to our neighbors, and that was certainly the old stereotype of the American dream, keeping up with the Joneses down the road. But now, the influence of the media is so strong and so ubiquitous that we're just getting those messages. But we used to have institutions like religion and family and the Girl Scouts and Boy Scouts, our communities, our schools … that would give us another set of values that might be a countervailing influence to what we got from our peers or from TV. I think the American dream always had a materialistic component. Greenfield: It really comes down to the media messages that we're getting. Once we don't have a clear road map for how to live and how to make meaning, it becomes very hard to find that satisfaction and happiness. ![]() There's a therapist in the film who told me that that leads to depression and anxiety. In my work, I have had to look at extremes, or people in extreme situations, so that we can see what's going on all around us. ![]()
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